有舍才有得

Yesterday, I did something that I’m very proud of myself for.

I changed my keychain! Yes, I know it’s just a keychain, but I’ve been using the said keychain for the past 6 years. Stupid ex-bf bought me the keychain when he went to Thailand, and it had both of our names linked by the heart shaped design. It wasn’t especially beautiful, but it meant a lot to me. I still cannot believe I changed my keychain, honestly. I guess nobody would understand it, jx didn’t understand when I told him. But to me, it’s a tiny step forward in letting go. Little bit by little bit, I’m slowly letting go of all my memories, and my love. So I feel proud of myself. Be proud of me, babe!

I had a really great time Friday night. We had a yummylicious dinner at Hog’s Breath Cafe, adjourned to My Secret Garden, and ended the night at Crazy Elephant. I never really talked much to Andrew before cos I’ve only met him like thrice before he went off to HK, but he seemed really nice! Well, he was very nice when he learnt about the whole fiasco with irritating ex-bf lah hahaha. It’s so funny, cos I was talking mainly to Amy, Adrian and Ryan at My Secret Garden, then as we were leaving My Secret Garden, Andrew suddenly asked me “Are you okay?”, and my immediate reaction was “Oh, you know now!” I am becoming so sensitive to people being suddenly soliticious to me. Haha I don’t know whether to say that’s good or bad.

But anyway, he’s a nice brutha, and he works in HK! I mentioned we’ll prolly be going to HK in May, and he gave me his namecard, so I’ll email him when we’re going, and hope he has time to meet us! Oh and intro us to cute HK bankers, cos he’s an analyst in ABN AMRO there. Apparently very high pay also ah! Hahaha.

Anyhow, hope that we all have a fantabulous 2007 ahead of us!

Sleep, Snow Cake, and The Big O

I took a nap in the afternoon, and I find myself unable to fall asleep right now. I feel like sleeping cos the weather is nice, and I do feel kinda tired, but I’m also tired of tossing and turning in bed. Life’s a bitch.

For the first time in 3 months, I finally painted my nails again. My classic dark red, they make me feel like me again. They make me feel like I’m pretty, and that I’m still desirable. Which is why I’ll stretch out my hands every once in a while to admire them. Haha, I am silly I know, but sometimes I really think that dark red looks damn nice on me! Yknow ever since the breakup, I haven’t felt very desirable. No matter what, it does feel like I got dumped cos I’m not good enough, and it really does bad things for my never-high-in-the-beginning self-esteem. But it does feel like I’m finally getting over this “feeling undesirable” phase. Time to move on. I am a beautiful, attractive young woman. Repeat x 10.

So, I watched Snow Cake at The Picturehouse on Tuesday, and I really loved the movie. It was beautiful, unconventional and different from the dime a dozen films out there. I was pretty puzzled by the movie title cos I didn’t see a connection, and I was thinking of why this movie title the whole time, until the end where it all came together, and thereupon, I realised that it made perfect wonderful sense. I like movies like that. They make you think, and at the end, when you understand, it feels great. I love the part where Sigourney Weaver asks Alan Rickman whether he’s had an orgasm, and then tells him that it sounds like an inferior version of what she feels when she has a mouthful of snow.

Orgasms are seriously over-rated. Sure, they feel good but I personally find the process of having sex more enjoyable than the orgasm. And cuddling with someone you love on a rainy, cold night (although it does invariably lead to sex), a whole plate of fresh oysters with lemon and tabasco… they’re all so much better than orgasms. I never understand why men are so hung up over whether they’ve managed to give you an orgasm. It’s not the point at all, is it? If one is very obviously enjoying the sex, does it really matter whether one comes or not? I don’t think so. The point is to enjoy the process of having sex, and having an orgasm is a bonus. Least, that’s what I feel.