Loneliness

I can't quite believe that 6 months later, I am still feeling lonely.  I could be surrounded by friends, by people yelling and shouting, but inside, I just feel lonely and abandoned.  There are so many things that I want to share with him, but he's always too busy.  Too busy with his work work, his school work, his business work, his 108364873648364 activities.  He calls when I am busy, he doesn't call when I'm free. And yes, I could call when I'm free but what would be the point? I would get the "I'm in a business meeting, I'm busy, I got work to do" kinda answers and then he would tell me that he would call me back.  And when he calls back, he would be tired as hell and needing sleep, and I would feel guilty and bad. 

I  love him.  I just don't want to have to love somebody who is so far away and perpetually too busy to have any time for me.  I am trying to understand, I am not bothering him, but the problem is … who is being understanding to me?  Definitely not him, he doesn't have time to do it for me, although he expects it from me. In a way, I'm envious of people who can just cheat on their significant others while they're away.  At least they're getting something.  I'm not.  I just feel lonely as hell and the worst thing's that the one person who can assuage the loneliness is the person who isn't here.

I'm tired, but I can't let go.  So I'm back to square 1, aren't I?  I suck.  Life sucks.  Love sucks.  I need a hug.

Weird dream

I had a really weird dream last night.  I dreamt my boss embezzled funds from her company and ran away, leaving me and wj to clear the mess.  I even dreamt of the clients!  It was a totally hilarious dream on hindsight.  Probably cos of the news about David Rasif embezzling $16 million?  

Been watching the World Cup a lot cos my dad is watching…quite exciting!  But my poor Japan confirm out liao. I've got my bets on Argentina cos they're really quite strong this year, and Messi is like damn freaking good.

Haha, I'm updating cos wj said my last post was so long ago.  Which makes me think that if my last post was long ago, then it was even longer ago since I saw ah ting!  Ok, we gotta meet up soon   Love you, woman!