Chronicles of Narnia
December 29, 2005
I get pissed off when I read about how “good” the movie was and how it “rocked”. It rocked alright. That is, my seat. For some assinine reason, the boy and I never have any luck when it comes to watching movies. This time, we were sandwiched between an ah beng and a whiny toddler. Try watching a movie with some silly whiny yelling “No!” and repeatedly kicking my seat. Wah, provide free rocking service for me leh, but really, I could have SO done without it. I don’t understand the rationale of parents bringing a toddler to watch a movie. Leave it at home, please. It can’t understand the movie, and your fellow patrons don’t need to hear your toddler cry or have it kick your seat. Luckily, they realised their folly after my boy turned around and asked them to keep the noise level down. They quietly fled the theatre, crying toddler in their arms. Ah, what a relief.
Next up for the contender of “Who’s a biggest arse in the movie theatre?” was the ah beng sitting in front. For some reason, he discovered (what an AMAZING discovery, probably ranks right next to masturbation for him) that the seat would make a squeaky sound if he rocked back and forth in it! He proceeded to do that for wow, the entire movie. I really needed to hear that sexy squeak. If it wasn’t because the movie was boring, my boy might have kicked that guy’s ass.
And the movie… it was a nice whimsical sort of Christmasy movie but the action scored nil. Some of the dialogue was kinda funny but really, what happened to all the big action scenes? Zilch. Nada. We’ve got this scary witch with scary wand and like hundreds of thousands of scary minotaurs and assorted monsters. One lion jumps out with some other minor, non-scary fauns and what not, and bam the whole army of scary monsters just … surrender. The scary witch doesn’t even try to do anything, she just falls and the lion eats her face out. That was so exciting! Not. I want to to kill the asshole who wrote on his/her blog that Chronicles of Narnia was better than LOTR. That is so NOT true. I just can’t remember exactly where I read it.
While I’m still bitching, I really hate the people who see me walking the dog, and then have to squeal in shock and fear, and back away till they’re 1 metre away. Please, does my dog look remotely scary to you? She’s so small, I can carry her like a baby. She does not look scary, and she does not need you to run away from her like she’s got diseases. She’s very, very clean. I bathe her twice a week and I clean her face/paws/ass every frigging day. What is wrong with these people who behave like my dog is gonna eat them up? I’d say the chances of them hurting my little girl is higher. Idiots, all of them.
